I :

I am thinking about: What tomorrow brings , whether i will do with my life what i set out to do with it....

I said... that I don’t care ....... that nothing matters to me and that I am happy alone………I LIED……. ….maybe this is something I have grown up to “get used to”… it’s convenient….. for me atleast

I want to.. Take a camera with infinite memory and fix it to my head so that i can record everything and play my life at will.. i dont miss a thing.... i want to visit vienna and paris and new york and moscow and brussels and LOTSA OTHER PLACES, i want to be wanted.... i want to be missed while i am gone (for a while).. and i want to not be missed(when i am gone forever)..... i want to Complete all the things that I have written in my “Things to do before I am 40 ”
(I know that a few of them…..like… “I want to play cricket for India”…. etc etc won’t happen…..But how can u blame me? I was in the 8th standard)

I wish... to see and meet all the people with whom I was acquainted for a while and then drifted…like passengers on a train……. I want to see each one of them..and say….. “Goodbye and take care”….. i wish to have a more "even" temper ..... i wish to have a more "sunny" disposition.......i wish i could smile more often, i wish people would let me smile more often


I hear that.... people with a dimple on the left cheek are grouches and are really grumpy people……. I vouch for it :)

I wonder.. What it would be like to not worry about love and hate and pain and joy…. Would that be heaven or madness……… OR BOTH?

I am... not ALL that bad a guy……….. honest ….. what? U DON’T believe me!!!


I dance...NEVER or atleast NOT YET......though I have always wanted to ..(and in some time I WILL)...because i am way too self conscious to fully let go........and also because i have never LEARNT it

Which brings us to…

I regret...a few things
Not learning to swim ,Not learning to dance ....Not being able to fully let go of my ego in “SOME” situations(have no idea as to when I will b able to do that….. I don’t think I want to ..even…. ) Not having told people stuff when i had the chance....and then regretting not having told them........ then regretting a little more for having regretted so...... a vicious cycle

I sing... all the time……..mostly in my head. Although most people I know vouch otherwise…….at any given time there is SOME song goin on in my head......... Offlate:Bob Dylan ”Shelter From The Storm”, Bob Dylan:"Forever Young", Oasis:"Champagne Supernova" , Green Day:"Are We The Waiting"

I cry... very often ……..And over very trivial reasons…….. I cried each time Mufasa died…... I cried during the climax of “Nayagan”, “Kireedam” ,”Chengol”, many many times over ……..I last cried ……… well I don’t remember but was not too far back in time


I am not always .. as open as i would like to be.... about the way i feel about things or people....or atleast in letting the feelings be made clear.. many a times i hold back...dunno why.... maybe the ego is playing its part... i have no idea.. i intend to change that too!!

I make with my hands... lots of things…… mostly messes of different kinds and hopefully my own fate… its scary to think that my future does not lie in my hands

I write. so that I can understand the method to the madness that’s my thought process... to understand why i think the way i think........ to understand if its right or wrong or both..... a constructive way of talking to myself

I confuse….. greed with need, ego with purpose/determination, incompatibility with rejection(or is it??)……….pleasantries for genuine concern, and vice-versa

I need
1.money….. lots of it
2.people I want and wish to love… to love me back and accept me for WHO I am
3.all my friends/soon to be friends to know that I may not be the most “expressive” and most “forthcoming” of guys but that I am always there
4.Lots of money