Monday, June 19, 2006

(Have been tagged by Everyman on 6 werid things about here goes)

1.I have this feeling that everyone i know is out to get me.. but then again...."Jus because u are paranoid does NOT mean they are'nt after you"

2.I have a problem with unfamiliar "bathrooms"........... my bowel jus shuts shop........

3.I hate places where i am expected to act/be/pretend happy...... eg.. marriages of people i barely know and mostly have never seen , "family" functions, when one runs into familiar strangers.....yknow....

4.i hate squeaky shoes on small kids ....or rather the parents who make their kids wer squeaky shoes.... too much of noise......and pointless........ IS NOT CUTE

5.I detest words like.......... "choooo chweeeeetttt, choooooooo cuuuuuuuteeeeeee"..... or rather people (mostly girls) who use such words one more chooo...and i am gonna shove my boot up their arse

6.I dont think i am weird

shit my 6 options have run out..... these are jus the first 6 options that came to mah mind......and this easily is my fastest post ever

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

GOODBYE...... FOR NOW.....

I am writing this post in a bit of a hurry, a very good friend of mine ... Raconteur is going abroad for a reasonably long period of time, and hence this reluctant hurriedness to write

May u have a safe and wonderful journey ahead.....

.....may u never forget the one who introduced u to sunscreen :)


Tuesday, June 06, 2006


As i fall thru the bottomless pit thats my heart
Darkness engulfs me ........ i lose my way
it doesnt matter where because i am only going down
and letting splintered memories guide my hapless path

Tombstones and bodies littered around
why do they all look so familiar to me
wait a minute. they are all me.......
Dead and dying every day i live

They are looking at me and seem to be laughing ,
it seems like they have been waitin for me;
they think i have come home...
as though hell awaits... one of its own

Goodbye....... farewell.. but what did i do???

The Reprobate

Monday, June 05, 2006

Guys and gals........ from now on the posts will try to divert from triviality... into more hopefully personal stuff............ things are gonna get ugly...... Not for the faint hearted


Growing older by the day,(am still only 23.... I think) I realize that the only thing in one’s life that remains the same and doesn’t lose Its sheen vis-à-vis man are memories……..happy, poignant, sad , quirky memories. whatever shape size or form they may be in…..But memories…. The ONLY THING that truly matters in the long run....Elements that remains with you despite u wanting it to go away and fade …. Or for that matter some that disappear and fade away despite u desperately wanting to hold onto them….

Makes me realize ( kinda regrettably so) that the memories in my life are.......relatively boring.......... not too many happy moments in my life ....and lotsa sad ones..... and therefore was just wondering . Is everyone's life so sick and sad and boring and blah blah?... i mean . Its strange to realize that ….I MAY never get the ........"Those were the good ol days u know!!" kind of a feeling... EVER …. No enduring stories to tell friends and laugh when they and I are 60 and have had a bit too much to drink...….my entire life playing as a movie in my head will be jus that; one bad memory after the other, one failure after the other... seems to me that life has…..well……..left me a wee bit short changed...I am not sure if this is just my pessimistic perspective (am accused of it from time to time)....... I just don’t have too many memories of a "happy life" enduring memories of time spent with people; Just life spent. Spent moving from one shithole to the other , one rut to the next.... each one deeper and less hopeful than the previous one .I know this is not just a case of selective memory.... I have no answer. I am sure its not just me wanting to whine like a little puppy, I feel that there is a lot of unanswered time in my life.... to put it simply, if I were to get into a coma at age 6 and wake up only today, other than the "education" I have had (which doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in this world…), There is nothing else in life I would have missed(and the atrophy). To all those people who have happy memories...... hold on to them with all your me...... Its what life is made of...U LUCKY BASTARDS .Count your blessings…. And be happy.I may only be 23 but ....... i know what i can never have..........

Man has learnt to do a lot of things with science…..But can’t create one simple memory instance…. It would be wonderful to have a Plug and play way of actually loading ones mind with happy memories (artificial ones or for that matter real ones that one seems to have forgotten). If I EVER EVER get rich…….I will be willing to trade all that I would have…..for a few happy memories……. And yet I will know that I would have walked away with the better part of the deal. Most of ya may think I am exaggerating I don’t give a shit about wat ya think. But some of you know wat i am talking about……. Guess we are the unlucky ones…..One's childhood can't be cured. Mine'll hang around my neck like a noose, that's all, instead of a rainbow

-------God gave us memories that we might have roses in December

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Off late hav been facing a big time writers block, I cannot get myself to write ANYTHING on the Blog, for no apparent reason ; I cant put ma finger on it but i think it is more than "deep rooted procrastination" that seems to somehow be embedded in my psyche..... influencing all things i See ,Do(no NOT that DO ) , Touch or Feel . Somehow the "willingness to write" is no longer there..Is not because of "lack of willing topics".had just been to Bangalore (miss that friggin place)......... met most of the people i intended to meet , yet didnt feel enough to come and write about it on the blog........ i honestly dunno why........Anyway from now on.... there will be a more concerted effort to put up stuff on ma page... and the stuff (hopefully) will be a lot less superficial/flimsy THAT my earlier posts........ Planning to go down Morbid(desperate, hopeless) alley
for now....... there is just a song by Baz Luhrmann


Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99..
Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future,sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth,
oh never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked,
you are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future, or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind
that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,
don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy,
sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind,
the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults,
if you succeed in doing this, and tell me how.

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life,
the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,
maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t,
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary
What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waitin' to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard,
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia,
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen
Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurtin, but I've been waitin' to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can
Everybody's free oh yeah Everybody's free oh yeah